I have many faults (yes, really!), and I am likely to be a work in progress until I take my last breath… but I don’t believe I have ever uttered the cry, “nothing good ever happens to me!” And if I have it would have been a long time ago – and I would have deserved a damned good shake from someone less entrenched in self-pity!
It is a phrase I have heard many, many times – and it is always a lie! Think about it: NOTHING good EVER happens to me. Nothing? Ever? The last time this miserable phrase assaulted my ears was around 2 months ago, courtesy of someone who was having the kind of uncomfortable problems we all experience in life… someone in possession of reasonable health, with people on the planet who love her and whom she loves, enough money to live on, access to health care, technology, education and transport, the precious things that are far too often taken for granted – especially by the habitually dissatisfied. This lady’s problem was a frustrating relationship issue, a situation that was being allowed to balloon out of perspective, overshadowing every other aspect of her life. And you might say, “oh, well, it’s just a phrase, something we all say at times – it doesn’t mean anything!” And I would respond with “sorry, but you are dead wrong there!”
Words are far more powerful than you might imagine, and although we all experience periodic dips (crashes, even) throughout our lives, it requires a certain kind of thinking to allow the offending statement to slip so guilt-free and easily from our lips. If we say it just once, without immediately thinking, “ouch, I really didn’t mean that, I do have so much to be grateful for, despite my problems. I am just feeling bad about this particular situation, right now, at this moment in time”, we are likely to think and say it again – and believe it. And that has the capacity to lead us to unconsciously seek out anything that validates the belief that nothing-good-ever-happens-to-me. And who the hell wants to live under that miserable banner-heading (or associate too closely with anyone who does)?
Every aspect of our life has its own, individual energetic field, and we are always in the process of attracting and repelling. Our brain is aware of everything we think and feel, especially the stuff we repeat over and again, creating new neural connections accordingly – programming us to automatically replay and act out the old, familiar patterns. And our unconscious mind is continuously sucking it all up, even when our conscious mind has temporarily been distracted away from whatever the ongoing issue is, ready to bring it sharply to the fore every time we think about or experience something similar. It likes to match things, to join the dots; if we have unwittingly programmed our unconscious mind to accept that nothing good ever happens to us, it is duty bound to assist us in being right (survival instinct). It will cause us to be aware of, and even attracted by, circumstances that ‘prove’ our beliefs to be correct. Of course, that is not all that the unconscious mind is about, but its contents are all our own work – nothing gets in there that wasn’t generated by us, wittingly or unwittingly.
What are other examples of the kind of thinking we really need to avoid like the plague?
Why do bad things always happen to me?
Why does everyone let me down?
Bad things happen to good people.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Why am I so unlucky?
Why do I always attract the wrong people?
There is a tendency toward generalisation where destructive beliefs are concerned (another danger to be avoided), the biggest culprits being the words always/everyone/continuously. “I am ALWAYS unlucky!”, “you CONTINUOUSLY do things to hurt me!”, “EVERYONE lets me down!” Imagine being the person who is always and continuously kicked in the gut by everyone? Oddly, for some folk, there appears to be some kind of dubious power in that mindset!
So, when it is said that words don’t matter, maybe one-off or off-the-cuff remarks don’t carry too much weight – but never underestimate the potential cumulative effect of habitual negative thinking… the most insidious form of self-harm! We are all going to suffer at times throughout our lives; we are all going to want to howl at the moon, or stand on a mountain top and scream from the centre of our very being, or grab God/the Universe by the short-and-curlies and throw out our best possible punch. However, if we retain even one ounce of awareness and gratitude, we won’t reduce the precious aspects of our lives to mere rubble. Whenever we take for granted the things that are a part of our everyday life (including the basic things that other human beings can only dream of), willingly buying into bitterness and resentment, we are signing up for the dark side – and no good can ever come of it. Having seen how it poisons and weakens those who consistently indulge, my advice would be to cry your tears of frustration, get your rant off your chest, reassess, re-group… and maintain a sense of perspective. You will rise again, I promise.