Without wanting to sound woo-woo, I have a question for you: How are you doing, vibrationally?

You see, we are all energetically vibrational beings, existing within a vibrational universe. To quote Tam Hunt, in the blog post The Hippies Were Right: It’s All about Vibrations, Man!:

 “All things in our universe are constantly in motion, vibrating. Even objects that appear to be stationary are in fact vibrating, oscillating, resonating, at various frequencies.” 

And

“An interesting phenomenon occurs when different vibrating things/processes come into proximity: they will often start, after a little time, to vibrate together at the same frequency. They “sync up,” sometimes in ways that can seem mysterious. This is described today as the phenomenon of spontaneous self-organization.”

I am at my most uninspired and unenthusiastic about life when I become too caught up in the demands of the physical world – something that can all too easily happen. And I know that, as a result, my ‘vibes’ drop, becoming slower and heavier than they usually are. Of course, I can’t just take myself off into the wilderness for weeks on end or go and live in a cave until I ‘find myself’ – for practical and financial reasons. However, I can take stock and regroup when I recognise that I am starting to feel stuck again – and make myself aware of what is influencing me, and what/who is affecting me. 

Let’s face it, life is a full time job. Just surviving it requires a huge amount of time, energy, and effort; add aspiring and striving to to the mix and you’re on overtime. There are a million ordinary things that can unsettle us, before we even get to the sudden mishaps and dramas that tend to occur (and always when we least need them). If our vibrational ‘norm’ is unhealthy, we are going to be hit even harder when something goes wrong – which is why it is important to do our best to keep it ‘clean’ whenever we can!

I believe that our personal vibration emanates from deep within us – from our core. When I am tuning into and reading a customer, I always go to what I call the engine room… the hub of the inner world. And I do that because it is the place in which our current truth resides – as in, how we actually perceive life and what we really believe to be true. And, it is also where our hopes, fears, and desires live. We can project anything we like to the outer world, and defend that projection to the death, but we cannot manipulate our vibration into being anything other than it is. And each aspect of our life has its own vibrational field – which we ourselves have unconsciously created and developed, usually over a long period of time. And this is why, whenever I am making an energetic link as an intuitive consultant, sense is my most important tool, even over and above the images that take shape and form on the screen of my mind. Of course, I have to interpret everything that I see and feel, which isn’t always an easy process; however, I have learned to trust in that sense over the years because, largely speaking, it works pretty well. And the interesting thing is, we all have the ability to tap into our own and others’ engine rooms, for the purpose of gaining greater insight. It isn’t a mystical, spooky gift that only a select few possess (even though some would have us believe otherwise). On the other hand, naturally possessing the ability isn’t enough. There is a whole lot more to it… but that’s another subject for another day.

When our vibration is out of balance, we aren’t going to feel particularly good and we are going to struggle. The problem is, life is constantly upsetting that balance and if we are reactors, rather than responders, we are going to be more vulnerable to the impact than someone else might be. So, you need to ask yourself, do you have a tendency to automatically react to situations – or do you usually respond? They are very different states of being. We all react sometimes, and that’s a fact. However, in the past, having been a habitual reactor, I know how easily it can become our default setting. Yes, there was a history of stressful circumstances behind it – but it was self-awareness and a conscious effort to change that was my saviour. I would even go as far as to say that reacting can become addictive if we allow it to – and we all know what kind of effect addiction has on the mind, the body, and the soul. Vibrationally speaking, we are on a hiding to nothing if we refuse to look into our deepest self and face a few home truths every now and then. 

I recently read for a guy who had asked me the same question three times, over a two-year period, about his intended career. He recognised that he was procrastinating and wanted to know how to break the habit so that he could get on with doing what he said he wanted to do. As always, I sat quietly and made an energetic link with his inner world – and very quickly understood that a vibrational mismatch had come about… that he no longer actually wanted to pursue that goal. Behind the mismatch lay fear, which is mostly always the case; fear of not being good enough to do the job, fear of the effort required, fear of failure (because, if he failed, the crutch that was the idea of the goal would be kicked away from him, leaving him with nothing to lean on and nothing to turn to – a terrifying thought). However, he hadn’t started with fear, he had started with hope and enthusiasm, and so, vibrationally, it was a better match and felt good. But then time ticked by, and the more it passed the more he began to question and doubt. Somewhere within him he recognised that this wasn’t something he could see himself doing, at least not in the way he’d originally imagined. Nevertheless, as he’d already bought into the idea he was afraid to let it go or adapt it. Which weighed heavily upon him because he felt guilty about not putting his money where his mouth is – which in turn created inner tension – which then led to physical side-effects. He still wanted to do something that made a difference in life. He still wanted to help others to help themselves… but not this, in this way, not anymore. Maybe he never did, really. We can all get caught up in the honeymoon period of anything before ‘real’ life kicks in. Or possibly he did… but not enough. Of course, he is likely to resist my intuitive assessment, temporarily or permanently, because it’s a lot to take in and difficult to accept. All I know is that, when tuning in to him, the vibrational conflict was immediately obvious. It might not have been that way a year ago… but we can only ever work forward from this current second in time, regardless of what’s gone before. Wherever there is a vibrational mismatch there is no hope of genuine progression or success – and if we persist, all we’ll be doing is banging our head against an increasingly unforgiving wall. What a waste of time and emotional energy. In fact, what a waste of life itself.

I have worked with probably thousands of people who are desperate to meet ‘the one’ as soon as possible. But yet, when delving deeper, I can see that they have a few things to address in order to become vibrational matches with healthy, genuine love (as opposed to some of the questionable stuff that is often confused with it or passed off as it). I remember one man furiously arguing with me, insisting that he was ready to find the love of his life – and I told him that yes, he might want it… but he definitely wasn’t in a position to align with it – yet. Just because we want something doesn’t mean that it wants us, or that we are in a position to embrace and handle it well. This guy was a mess. He was still embroiled in conflict with an ex he appeared to have left physically but not emotionally. He believed that a new love would solve all of those problems and make him happy (a tall order for any prospective partner!). With that mindset, the only vibrational match he would make would be with someone who is equally unsettled, or so desperate to find a partner that they’ll  jump in with both feet, no questions asked. And then they’ll both come to regret it, make each other miserable, split up, and probably repeat the same pattern with other partners. He remained unconvinced and drifted off, as they do, to seek a consultant or reader who would validate his behaviour and tell him what he wanted to hear. Again, such a waste of time and energy, when the willingness to do a bit of inner-world work to clean and lift the vibration of that aspect of his life would make a long-term difference. I almost expect this kind of response from young people because they are naturally idealistic and impatient, and haven’t yet had sufficient time and experience to know any better (even though they often believe that they have and they do!). However, I despair when I see older people behaving in such a way because I fear that they will grow elderly and leave this world behind without ever having given themselves the chance to live a consistently happier life… with a healthier vibration.

We human souls affect each constantly, without recognising it or stopping to think about it. Those we live with, those we associate with – and even those who are strangers to us. We each live within our own vibrational energy field, which appears to expand and contract, dependent upon what is going on with us. I remember a time when, having completed a group booking, I popped into the supermarket – or, should I say, crashed into it. Not literally, of course, but energetically. I suddenly realised that I felt huge, and was fearful of banging into things, even though I only weighed around 112 lbs at the time. Items were falling over as I reached out for them, and I must have appeared ridiculously clumsy to other shoppers. I concluded that it must have had something to do with the group with which I had just been working… or maybe even just one of them. I am sure that I absorbed way too much of someone else’s energy, and it certainly didn’t feel at all comfortable. I spent 25 years travelling out to work with groups of people until I realised that I was becoming increasingly unhappy. I met some genuinely lovely people, but I also met some rather unpleasant ones, too! Disrespectful people with bad attitudes, seeing me as the entertainment, there to tell them what they wanted to hear, or ‘testing’ me, before going on social media to publicly give me marks out of ten. People who simply failed to show up, despite having booked me. Parents who allowed their children to run in and out of the room whilst I was working, and drunk people who started parties and played loud music, whilst shouting and screaming with laughter. You might think that I am exaggerating… and I can promise you that I’m not! Just think about the vibrational nature of the kind of people who believe that that is acceptable behaviour… and imagine having to delve into it! Having said that, I am not perfect, and I remember the feeling of shock when I realised that I was absolutely draining a woman with my tales of woe, when her face appeared to age before my eyes! I quickly ended the conversation and went on my way (much to her relief, I expect!), appalled that I could do such a thing. We all need someone to talk to, but we don’t have a God-given right to a captive audience. I reminded myself that I am responsible for my own vibrational field and others are responsible for theirs. The right thing to do is to become more aware, so that we don’t become a perpetual drain on others. And it is difficult to remain vibrationally balanced when we are living alongside people who are habitually reactive – the only answer being to either remove ourselves from them, or to continue to find ways to protect ourselves, energetically speaking. Sometimes it is the ones we love that we have to be the most tolerant of!

In terms of energy, each area of our life has its own vibrational field, and those that are stronger naturally support those that are weaker. However, the ripple effect of one area of our life can either lift or crush the others. This is why I often advise those who are looking for love to be wary of allowing the search to become the centre of their universe – their main focus, the subject that they most often think and talk about. This is because it creates intensity, and the vibration of intensity is not attractive. And when I say attractive, I don’t mean pretty. We are either attracting or repelling, mostly unconsciously, and intensity is dense and repellant. It is possible to be passionate about something and to take it seriously, without becoming imprisoned by it. I have been a fairly intense person myself, in the past, and it didn’t help or improve my life one iota. It just made me feel miserable and kept me treading water (or mud). And there is a kind of self-importance that goes hand in hand with intensity which can be highly irritating to others! I advise the frustrated seekers of romantic love to work, first and foremost, on becoming the best version of themselves, because the ripple will move outwards, positively impacting upon other areas of their life – including love. By doing that, they put themselves into a better position and open up their options – giving themselves a better chance of aligning with a healthier vibrational match with long-term potential. Of course, they don’t always agree, because they are convinced that finding a partner now is the answer to all of their problems and that it will transform their life and make them happy. And maybe it will – for some. But it won’t work that way for most. It isn’t just about finding someone to be in a relationship with; it is also about the quality of that relationship.

Whenever we are seeking something, we need to be genuinely aware of our own vibration – and be honest with ourselves. When I had a dreadfully poor relationship with abundance, I was constantly broke and unable to get one step ahead. This came home to me yesterday, in a very big way. A customer had purchased a consultation in 2018, and asked to bank it. I had forgotten all about it, but suddenly received an email, saying that she couldn’t remember whether or not she had used it and asking me to check. I looked back and worked out that no, she hadn’t – but I was shocked when I saw how little she had paid for it (my own doing). In those days I was charging a lot less than I am now, whilst still working really hard. And, on top of that, I was consistently offering discounts… whilst wondering why I couldn’t get into a better financial position. I had decided to delete my email list so that I could no longer be tempted to give discounted rates – but still, I had one last offer: 30% off any consultation, for 24 hours only! Given that the prices were already low, I was almost giving the consultations away. I felt sad for the old me, remembering how damaging it was for my self-belief, feeling that that was all I was worth. And do you know what actually finally brought me to my senses? A comment I read on the internet from someone who was speaking of me in dismissive, sneering tones – and who finished by saying “I see that she’s having a half-price sale so I might as well give her another go.” I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach – but it was something I really needed to hear. And how could I blame the world for what I myself had allowed to happen – what I had created? A high percentage of those who were on my old email list have not been returning customers. A few got in touch to ask when the next special offer was coming, and most of those disappeared when I said “it isn’t.” I struggled for a few weeks, fearing that I’d done the wrong thing – whilst being loath to put myself back into that miserable, low-vibrational situation. However, before I knew it, customers were paying the new prices without question. It wasn’t the world that needed to change – it was me! Since then, I have noticed many positive changes connected to my finances, which can only be explained by a change in my attitude and behaviour. Before, I was a vibrational match for low funds and hardship; today, I am a vibrational match for better funds and less hardship! I am not saying that I have ‘made it big’ or have a million pounds stashed away… but I am definitely more comfortable. 

If some area of your life is dragging its heels, look closer and check the way in which you are consistently feeling, thinking, and talking about it. What is the vibrational quality? Is there room for improvement? Some situations may be screaming at us to get out and save ourselves – and the quicker the better (and even if circumstance dictates that it isn’t possible to do so immediately, at least we can pay attention and start by taking some degree of action). However, there will be much we can do to raise our own vibrational output (with persistence and without impatience), and therefore change what we attract and align with. I have seen the evidence of it in my own life, and not just financially – so I speak from the heart and not just from the need to sound as if I know what I’m talking about! I am not saying that we have attracted everything we experience (see my post, The Spiritual Lie That Makes You Believe You Are Responsible For Everything). I am talking about everyday life, and the fact that we often have the capacity for greater control over the way in which we experience it than we often believe. Being open to the idea and willing to explore it could transform the way we feel about ourselves and our lives within months – weeks, even! Just think about it: by this time next year, you could have aligned yourself with a great partner, a fantastic job, more money… or indeed anything else that is important to you. Or, you could be feeling exactly the same way that you do now. Isn’t choice wonderful?

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