I needed to achieve a particular goal, so I wrote it down on a piece of paper and left it where I could easily see it, every day. In truth, the main purpose of this was to reassure myself!
“I am attracting a lovely home with a garage, that is pet friendly, in a convenient location, that is affordable, and from a friendly and responsible landlord. This comes to me easily and the transition is smooth and painless. I am attracting stability, now.”
Obviously, I was in the position of having to move house and needed somewhere suitable, as soon as possible. The problem was, when our landlady unexpectedly announced that she was selling the property we had been renting for almost 6 years, the housing market was in chaos. All of a sudden, and as a result of the pandemic, demand for property had exploded, along with prices. People were desperate to sell so that they could cash in, and rental properties became so much harder to come by – which meant that monthly rents doubled overnight. Plus, having pets made it even more difficult for us. So, despite having been given the legally required (at that time) 6 months notice, we were initially seriously concerned – until I remembered to have faith. You see, no matter how bad things have ever gotten in my life, they’ve always worked out pretty well in the end. Certainly not always immediately, and definitely not without some degree of stress and strain. After all, change can only come about through a process and it would be unrealistic to expect major change to be instant and painless.
As it happens, we did find a new home – literally around the corner, on the same estate. It was affordable, newly renovated (by the time we moved in), and pet-friendly… and came with an attached garage. It wasn’t advertised anywhere, and no one knew that it would be coming up for rent. Apart from my hairdresser, whose husband’s friend had mentioned to him that he was considering renting out his vacant property, a place he’d lost heart with, following the breakdown of his relationship. I discovered that the friend’s parents lived locally and so I went to have a chat with them, straight away – and it emerged that they were keen for him to let the house, rather than leaving it empty and unloved. So, a perfect result? Well, yes… but it wasn’t all plain sailing! The owner had begun renovating the place but hadn’t touched it for some time, and it wasn’t habitable. He promised to have it completed by a certain date, which came and went, before another promise was made… and that date too came and went. Still, I did my best to continue to have faith, even though I do admit to the odd wobble! Just before moving in, I discovered that my future landlord’s father had been tasked with the work – but that the poor man had suddenly become seriously ill for a while, which explained the delay. And yet, like a real trooper, he’d pulled himself round in a way that most of us wouldn’t even contemplate, and finished the job. I was in total awe of him when the story came out! And he told me that other desperate people had been asking about the possibility of renting the house, but, as he’d already promised it to us, he kept his word.
The question is, was our new home manifested via the ‘law of attraction’… or just good luck? Or, was it neither, and simply a result of appropriate timing and specific action taken? I don’t have an answer. But I do know that my underlying philosophy was: We always land on our feet, metaphorically speaking – so why should this time be any different? And that’s what I meant when I talked about faith. When we were first given notice to quit, we were shocked, sad, and hugely concerned. The timing couldn’t have been worse – or so it initially seemed. There was so little suitable rental property available, and what there was extortionately priced and didn’t allow pets. But, we’d been in sticky situations before and managed to turn things around… and so, once the dust had settled, we just kind of believed that it would all be alright. But anyway, let’s take a look at the facts, so you can decide for yourself whether it was the universe or just my own actions that led us to the house around the corner!
I told my hairdresser about our dilemma, which is why she told me that she knew of a house on the same estate upon which we were living that was coming up for rent. It wasn’t just a random conversation or a bit of gossip.
I quickly took it upon myself to approach the owner’s family, as I didn’t have his contact details.
Because we lived close by, the family were aware of us, and saw that we kept the outside of the house in good order.
The landlord’s father used to work with our landlady, and so was open to helping her by helping us.
Having made contact with the owner, I kept in touch, letting him know that we were still very keen to rent the house – and was obliging when he changed the agreed dates, careful not to upset the apple cart.
The house we were leaving did sell, but not until a month before we finally moved – and so the landlady allowed us a little extra time (which also meant that she continued to receive the monthly rent, so it was a win-win situation!).
I have had many similar experiences throughout my life, leading me to believe that I’m a very lucky person. My life hasn’t been all moonlight and roses, by any stretch of the imagination – but not only am I fully aware of the number of times I’ve been bailed out, and how many wonderful people have helped me – I’m also deeply, deeply grateful. Why me, is a question I have often asked of whoever or whatever is out there… whilst thanking it with every ounce of my being. I’m not special, I’m not perfect, I haven’t achieved greatness. Of course, there have been many struggles, including times, many years ago, when no one would have known if I was dead or alive. I made stupid, reckless decisions; I put myself in physical, mental, and emotional danger. I treated myself as if I was the most worthless human being in the world, and I let others down. But I always came out the other side, and I think that that realisation was what made me recognise just how lucky I’d been – and that if others were willing to invest their time, energy, and even money in me, and if something, somewhere had been looking out for me, I needed to be grateful, and I needed to stop being such an idiot. I began to think that if I was worth saving, there must be a reason. And I developed my relationship with what I call the great creative force of life (or God, for short), regularly conversing with it in my mind.
But still, I have often pondered the subject of what is popularly known as the law of attraction, and have even written about it, in the past. Not that I see things in exactly the same way, now. After all, we’re supposed to evolve, and to change our minds as we learn and experience more, aren’t we? I have had to ask myself if I have ‘attracted’ certain events into my life… manifested them, as they say? There have been many occasions on which I have not consciously meditated upon a desirable outcome, especially in the midst of a sudden problem or emergency – and yet the cavalry showed up. I can see that the messes that occurred in my adult life were mostly of my own making, so yes, I did manifest them. But I often didn’t consciously invite the rescues. The major problem with the concept of a law of attraction is that, technically, it means nothing because it means something different to everyone. Do some research and you’ll see what I mean. Some would say that my new home was definitely delivered courtesy of the ‘law’… whilst others would say “rubbish! Nothing more than a series of actions that led to an outcome.” I’m not sure that either would be completely right – or wrong. It does kind of feel as if that house was waiting for us, ticking the boxes and being in the desired location. I only see my hairdresser every few weeks, and it was odd that her husband had only very recently had the relayed conversation with his friend. Having said that, if I hadn’t sprung into action we may well not have been offered the house or might have lost out on it. I’m going to call it luck, with a helping hand from something greater than myself that I don’t fully understand. And I will continue to say “thank you”, to whom or whatever is behind it all.
Now, it has to be acknowledged that I must have had some belief in a law of attraction, because I consciously wrote my ‘request’ on a piece of paper and read it out loud, regularly. And when we paid the first month’s rent and took possession of the keys, I neatly folded that slip and placed it in one of my little drawers. Why? I could have thrown it in the bin – after all, the job was done. I don’t know. It just felt disrespectful, somehow! To whom or what, I’m not sure. I think I felt that that bit of paper had somehow made the house move possible, which is silly, of course. Not that it really matters, in the grand scheme of things. But it is interesting that I believe that writing things down makes them more powerful. I have even advised others to do the same, where their own needs/desires are concerned. Having said that, I am a firm believer in appropriate action, too. There is always going to be something we need to do or be, if we are intent upon changing an aspect of our life or experiencing something different. Which brings me to a book that was published 16 years ago – and took the world by storm.
This was a book that had thousands – millions, maybe – of people rejoicing. At last, here’s the answer! Here’s the easy way to have everything we could ever wish for! Health, wealth, love! I personally spoke to an awful lot of very excited folk who believed that they were in possession of the Holy Grail, upon purchasing it. If it had been published ten years earlier, I might even have been one of them. It became huge, drawing attention to the film that had inspired its creation, and spawning a zillion other books (it is still a big seller, today). Certainly, for the author, and some of those who jumped on the bandwagon, it truly was an amazing tool for the manifestation of financial abundance. However, it set many, many up for failure and disappointment. I know, because I spoke to a large number of people who had gone from feeling as if all of their problems were now at an end (after all, they were now in possession of the secret to the manifestation of their dreams), to feeling worse than they did before having read it. They believed that they’d followed all of the instructions, that they’d done everything that the author and her contributors advised… and yet nothing had changed. In fact, for some of them, life seemed worse. They’d had hope, but now it all just seemed hopeless. Either they were doing it wrong, or maybe they simply weren’t good or deserving enough. They believed that others had it sussed and were creating the kind of life that they themselves could only dream of. Which led to resentment and frustration. Depression, even, in some cases. However, in fairness, it does have to be said that no one can blame an author for the way in which readers respond to their book; that is something over which they have no control. We’ve all got a brain, along with the capacity to question and analyse, and it’s no one else’s fault if we fail to utilise those things. Nevertheless, if you think about it, the already successful and wealthy are probably unlikely to feel the need to delve into a new-age publication that explains how to attract everything that the heart desires. Such a publication is going to be more popular amongst those who are struggling in life – those who are most in need of a lifeline. At least, that’s what I assumed, because I hadn’t actually read the book (though I had seen the film) – until now. Two days ago I got myself an audio copy, listened to the whole thing, and am now qualified to offer an opinion!
There is some good and useful stuff to be found amongst its pages – but there are also a lot of highly questionable, even destructive, claims made! One man in particular induced me, several times, to gasp “What? Are you serious?” I agree that the way in which we most consistently think is something we need to be very aware of, because we can do ourselves great harm through our own thoughts… and I’m not being dramatic when I say that. We can be held prisoner by our own inner dialogue, spawning feelings that lead to destructive action or non-action. It might be fair to say that we are what we think, when our repeated thoughts are highly emotionally charged, be it positively or negatively. Nevertheless, to state – and then ram the message home again and again – that our thoughts are responsible for everything we attract and experience, is ludicrous, idealistic, and unrealistic. In fact, as I’m typing this, and remembering more, I can feel myself getting pretty damned cross (ooh, I need to watch out for that big chunk of bad Karma that the universe has surely already launched in my direction, in response to my negative thoughts and lack of joyful bliss). And one of the claims that particularly made my blood boil went something like this:
“Why does 1% of the world’s population own 96% of the global wealth? Because they know the secret of abundance!”
Really? Is that why? Gosh, and here was me thinking that it’s because they own everyone and everything, one way or another. Because of long-term corruption on a massive scale, and involvement in underground dealings, bribery, back-handers, and payouts. They know secrets, that’s for sure – but not the ones you’re talking about. Don’t even begin to suggest that everyone else could rise to their sickeningly dizzy heights, too, if only they could decipher the secret – if only they too could learn to think in the ‘right’ way. It’s a preposterous suggestion. As is the statement that, when you see a rich person, you now know that their thoughts are predominantly about wealth, rather than poverty, and that the universe has moved people and situations around in order to fulfil their expectations. Whilst you who are broke are focusing on lack (you idiot), and so that’s what the universe is dumping on your doorstep. If you want more money, you’ve just got to think like they do. It’s isn’t a hard concept to grasp – is it?
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m not anti-wealth. I have genuinely learned to love what money can provide, and I appreciate and enjoy it. And there are plenty of decent, honest, altruistic millionaires and billionaires out there, I’m sure. But there are definitely those, amongst the super-rich in particular, who have hearts as black as coal, and whose power and wealth have nothing to do with aligning themselves with the ‘universe’. So, strike number one.
Other strikes include the suggestion that even weight loss is something that is delivered by the law of attraction – when thinking properly, of course. And also, despite finding yourself in the most appalling situation, you should still be joyous, and you should be acting ‘as if’ you’ve already received your solution/answer/desire. You should be embracing it. Which might be possible for a few hours, or a day – but not much longer than that.
And the claim that children have used the teachings of the book to manifest abundance and happiness sounds wonderful; but what about the kids who are living in households where poverty is all they know, or with abusive, neglectful parents? Drug addicts and alcoholics?
One guy who contributed to the book, and claimed to have turned his bills into cheques, has since been involved in fraud on a major scale. Others have also gotten into trouble or have found their star falling, in the intervening years. So what kind of thoughts have they been having?
One case history involved a man who believed that he was being harassed by everyone. On the street, at work, everywhere. Everyone was picking on him. Until, apparently, he began to think new thoughts – and then all of the bullies magically melted away – thanks to the law of attraction. Upon hearing this, the word “attitude” immediately crossed my mind. It isn’t always our thoughts that get in the way – often, our attitude is what needs to change. This man was clearly consistently thinking paranoid thoughts, which fuelled the kind of attitude that repelled or irritated others. When he stopped being that way, others responded differently toward him. And I began to think about people I know or have come across who are constantly unhappy and bitter, and who believe that the world has got it in for them – and each and every one of them has a thoroughly unpleasant attitude. Of course, you could ask, “which comes first: the chicken or the egg?” I can’t say for sure, but my guess would be, with certain individuals at least, that the bad attitude is the result of negative, self-entitled thinking and a definite lack of gratitude, rather than the other way round.
So, do I really buy into the idea that the law of attraction is actually a ‘thing’ and is operating within my life? Partially, yes, I do. But not in the way that it is popularly understood. The book I have been speaking about contains a few nuggets of truth – and a whole lot of baloney. Readers will take from it what they will, dependent upon where they are at in their life at the time of reading. There was a point in my life when I would have bought into it more than I do now, and I apologise to anyone who has read anything I have previously written about the law of attraction that I no longer believe is true. What I do believe is that the way in which we think matters, because it dictates the quality of our mental and emotional health. I also believe in genuine gratitude, in a major way. The most miserable people I’ve ever met have been seriously lacking in gratitude. And I believe in taking action. My interest lies in helping others to gain greater insight into their own thinking and their lives. That’s what intuitive guidance is really all about, with predictions being an added bonus. Of course, we humans are always looking for the easiest and quickest way out of our problems, which is why the modern version of the law of attraction has been so popular. But, as many have discovered, all that glitters is not gold, and changing our thoughts is not the easiest of tasks – though certainly not impossible, and is something that we should work on if need be. What is important to be aware of is our attitude, as it tends to be an outer manifestation of the workings of our inner world. Having said that, how many of us would willingly admit to having a s****y attitude? Not many of us, I expect.
I don’t believe that we are all responsible for every health issue we experience – but it’s probably true that we may not always be helping ourselves as much as we can.
I don’t believe that when someone we love dies we’ve created it through our thoughts. Or if we are attacked (unless we’ve incited it ourselves), or if we are in an accident (unless our carelessness caused it). Even then, it wouldn’t be our thoughts, but our actions, that set things in motion. And certainly not the work of the universe.
If we are struggling to find love, whilst repeating the same old patterns, we are probably more victim to our old behaviour and the screwed up way in which the world of dating currently operates.
I believe that many of us have a really poor relationship with money, and usually for a variety of reasons. And that yes, the way in which we think about it, and what we believe to be true, has a direct connection to the consistent state of our finances. It took me years to improve my ‘abundance mentality. Years. I had to learn to handle money more productively, and to charge a decent but reasonable fee for my services. All of the visualisation and affirmations in the world wouldn’t have attracted a suitcase full of cash, in the past, because I was entrenched in a scraping-by mindset. And even if they had, I’d have blown through it as if there was no tomorrow. I couldn’t think myself into more money until I had started to repair my relationship with it.
There’s something else I’d like to say about what we call the law of attraction. It’s something we are, not something we do, if that makes sense. I believe I acquired our new home through a combination of natural optimism that things will work out well in the end (I aligned myself with it because I knew what I wanted and needed, and have ‘manifested’ other important items in the past, and so believed that it is possible), and good fortune. I’m not sure that I understand what good and bad luck are all about, but I have certainly experienced a few miracles in my life, and have had a few episodes of what some might consider to be misfortune. And I have definitely, without doubt, been aware of the heart-stopping, breath-taking tragedy that many poor human beings have had to face. And I defy anyone, anywhere, to declare that they ‘attracted it to them through their own thoughts’. Life isn’t a fairytale, though it can have its magic moments. Our universe, and our world, is made up of order and chaos, and there is much that I don’t understand and wouldn’t even attempt to explain. There is injustice, and we aren’t all born on a level playing field. And what the pandemic has taught me is that the acquisition of financial wealth is easy for those who already have lots of it, and who have no conscience about the ways in which they rake it in. To suggest that those people have a wonderful relationship with money, because they have discovered the ‘secret’, is putting an entirely false-positive slant on it. It is true that money will find its way to those who absolutely worship and revere it, and to whom there can never be enough. They have no doubts, no fears, no poor abundance mentality. But that doesn’t make money dirty or evil, and it doesn’t make those who want more – who just want to live a more comfortable life – greedy. And anyone who thinks that it does probably needs to reassess their beliefs – in my opinion. Maybe it is true, in some ways, that the universe is completely neutral and delivers what we feel we are entitled to, deep down inside. So the multi-billionaire gets another couple of billion, without raising an eyebrow, and you and I win a few quid on the lottery. I can tell you this much, I will never, in this lifetime, have the kind of money that the super-rich have, because a) I can’t get my head around such an idea, and b) I genuinely don’t want it. I don’t envy them, or wish to live life the way they do. I would, however, be open to a million, or even five; these days, a million seems like pocket change, compared to what it used to be worth! Having said that, I have been focusing on attracting £100,000, for about five years now… but maybe I forgot to add ‘in a lump sum’!
If your life is in a mess, or you’re stuck or lost, I feel for you because I’ve been there and done that. But please don’t believe that you have to stay there. And don’t rely upon a so-called magic solution to bring about instant change. Some situations are easy to move beyond, others are much harder – but the journey has to start somewhere and with the first step. Why not write down, clearly and concisely, what you need to make happen or change? It might help to strengthen your intentions… and it certainly can’t hurt to try. Also, focus on all of your past achievements, just to remind yourself that you’ve gotten this far. But, most importantly, work out what action you need to take, because you can bet that there will be something that you can and need to do. And if you’re struggling to recognise what that is, ask for help from someone who knows you and can be objective. Use every available tool at your disposal and give yourself the best possible chance!
Update: Just before publishing this post, I received a message from a lady I know, who had been highly stressed because she had a very short period of time in which to sell her house, before losing out on the one that she really wanted. I’d advised her to write it all down, and revisit it often:
“I did what you said and wrote everything down, including how our lives would improve with all of the benefits that the new home would bring, and then I visualised it. I stuck it up on the fridge and even woke up at 4 am to read and touch it, as strange as that might sound! But I had a real sense of calm as I was doing so. I got my husband to do the same, and we even drew our perfect garden for the house. Then, yesterday, we had an offer for the house we are selling, which we accepted!! I do believe in the power of manifestation, and so does my husband, as I have advised him on other occasions to ‘send it out to the universe’, and he has, with positive results. I’d never thought of writing it down, though, and you’re right, it did have a really powerful impact – even if it is that it only gave me something tangible to focus my attention and energy on. So, thank you for that! xx” See… it’s worth a go!