Intuitives and psychics: how much should be expected of them… and where do the boundaries lie?

“I want to know about my future partner… what does he look like, what does he do for a living, what is his personality like, what are his family like, and is he of the the same culture/religion as myself? And when and how will I meet him, and will it be a long-term relationship?”

I cannot truthfully and accurately answer all of these questions… and if that means that I am not very good at my job, then so be it. I can use my intuitive capacity to look ahead and describe whatever it is I am seeing and feeling, and talk about the general dynamic, offering predictions, insight, and food for thought – but, as for nailing down every last detail, crossing every t and dotting every i, I cannot – and wouldn’t want to – do it. There may well be readers or consultants out there who can accurately predict all of those details… in which case I would say stick with them for all of your intuitive needs – why wouldn’t you?

Largely speaking, I have a respectable reputation for long-term accuracy and for helpful, productive insight; it has allowed me to still be in business 25-plus years down the line. I have never claimed to be God, to be all-seeing and all-knowing, and I understand that not every customer appreciates my style of working. Still, I feel I have earned my career stripes, and I have no desire to explain why I can’t see all of the things that some customers believe I should be able to see, or to justify and defend myself. It has become exhausting, draining… soul-destroying, even. And, I don’t believe that this is what intuitive assessment and guidance should really be all about, anyway. It isn’t how I intended to use my skills (which is my own problem, obviously); I wanted to utilise them for the insight into future possibilities and progression of the customer, to tap into their inner world and highlight their potential… to encourage them to be aware of potential pitfalls and to make empowering decisions. It can’t be all moonlight and roses; buttering the customer up and reassuring them that they will never have to change or face any challenges in order to have everything they want requires no intuitive skill whatsoever, and seems pretty pointless. We are supposed to live, to allow life to flow, to respond to it (rather than react to it), and to develop as we are going along. To have a framework of predictions and insight is incredibly helpful; to have the luxury of a sneak preview of some of what we can expect ahead is a very useful tool. We just aren’t supposed to be able to map our life out, inch by inch… we aren’t supposed to have a list of instructions to follow, in order to guarantee that everything will work out exactly the way we want it to. Even God himself wouldn’t play ball with that one, I reckon. And, experience has taught me that when a person demands this kind of detail a) they are operating from a place of emotional fear and impatience, b) they are likely to pin everything on it, looking out for it, trying to make it fit, c) they often put the same questions to other readers, comparing notes, and d) the chance of backlash is higher than usual.

I don’t know why intuitive work is increasingly heading in this direction, why more and more is being demanded, whilst less and less is being appreciated and listened to. Access to the internet is probably at least partially to blame. Twenty four hours a day, anyone, anywhere, can have a ‘reading’, because it has now become a saturated market. And, if we don’t hear what we want to from this person, then we can go to that person. Eventually, it is likely that we will hear what we want to… and when we do, we will automatically deem that reader to be accurate, and those who haven’t told us the same story inaccurate… to be ‘bad’ and negative readers, even.

I have had a run, recently, of customers expecting way more than I am able to deliver. Maybe it isn’t just recently… maybe I have just become so jaded and burned-out that I am noticing it more. For example, when I say a couple of questions can be asked at the time of booking, I mean a couple: one, or two. Not a long list, some of which would require a separate consultation in their own right (I have now amended the listing!). When I explain to a customer that even knowing the full back-story to their love interest question wouldn’t alter my intuitive assessment, I mean it. And yet, some will still respond by trying to persuade/cajole/bully me into changing my delivery in line with what they’d prefer to hear… which would be of absolutely no use to them anyway, because I’d only be pacifying them for the sake of peace. When I explain, clearly, that it is impossible to be able to understand all aspects of the consultation immediately, and that time has to be allowed to pass, I mean it. And yet, some will still react or argue, picking out what they deem to be the negatives and challenging them. I am open to a valid, helpful, thought-out question, on something that hasn’t already been covered within the consultation… but not the rest. I have been refunding payments recently, when I feel that more is being asked than I am able or willing to deliver. I just can’t do it anymore, hence I am taking a bit of a break whilst I re-group. And, when I return, my work schedule will be different, and there is likely to be a more limited availability or a longer waiting list. I know for sure that if I don’t make these changes I won’t want to continue – I won’t be able to. The changes will include keeping certain boundaries firmly in place, and I will not respond to emails from those who are deliberately over-stepping, ignoring what I have said simply because they want to and because they think they have a right to. Of course, I am probably going to lose some business – maybe even all of it – but, if that is the way it goes, then so be it. I have faith that things always work out for the best when we listen to our inner-voice, follow our intuitive feelings, and remain true to our personal values and intentions.

No reader or consultant can predict that anyone will be happy in a relationship, job, town, city, or country. Happiness is an inside job. They can talk about the general dynamic of some of what lies ahead, either generally or specifically, offer predictions and insight… but not provide a truthful yes or no answer to the the question, “will I be happy?”

It isn’t ‘cheating’ to provide some background information, if this is likely to be helpful and beneficial to us, the customer. It isn’t the reader’s job to figure out all of the whys and wherefores, and give an in depth assessment of the future. If a question is poorly or badly worded, the reader cannot be blamed (a good reader will always look behind the question, but still, there is a limit to what should be expected!) if they don’t live up to the customer’s expectation. After all, there is only one reason to have an intuitive consultation (or psychic reading, even)… and that is to gain insight and information. It isn’t a test, or an emotional painkiller, or a crutch, or a way of hearing only what we want to. The problem is, it is a service that is now so readily available, at any time of night or day, it has become almost valueless, at least where a lot of people are concerned. A few weeks ago, I received this email, completely out of the blue, and absolutely unbidden:

 I was just listening to a 10 prediction reading you gave me 6 months ago and really you are the most negative person I have ever come across!!! It is so depressing listening to you for I don’t know how long that you go on and on and on to only say negative and negative stuff!!! 10 so called predictions where you don’t say one single positive thing.
Really, I am so glad I asked for my money back. You are so depressing and someone to avoid because you do damage to the humankind.
I already read so many reviews about your negativity but listening to what you recorded confirms it all

I honestly couldn’t remember who this person was, but clearly I had refunded her payment after delivering her consultation (something I won’t generally do, on the odd occasion it is demanded), so I had obviously been keen to put an end to whatever the situation was and get on with my life. I didn’t respond to the above email, but what interested me was her fury about what she deemed to be ‘negative stuff’ (and the fact that she hadn’t even actually paid for this consultation that she was still listening to and bitterly complaining about!), and that there wasn’t ‘one single positive’. A reader can only work with the energy of the customer, and what I might consider to be a useful, productive prediction/insight could be perceived as negative by the recipient… especially if they are of a particular mindset, either temporarily or permanently. But, it all just becomes too much, especially when these things follow you round, even months down the line. That lady had the time and energy it takes me to produce a consultation. She took up my time and energy when she was complaining about the service and having her payment refunded, and she then intruded into my space again, when she fired out her angry email. She got to vent her spleen, to lash out at life through me… and it didn’t cost her a penny. And, as is always the way with that kind of communication, I was assured that lots of others also view me with equal contempt! UPDATE! Within the last few days, this particular person has contacted me twice to ask for another consultation. My only response was to copy, paste, and send her her previous, nasty email… to which she replied that yes, it did seem to be a ‘bit negative’ but that she now thinks I was probably right after all – “so, can I have another consultation, then?” Of course you can- when hell freezes over! And, another customer who had also complained bitterly about her consultation, expecting me to re-do it, and who had also received a refund just to save me time, emotional energy, and stress, recently emailed me to apologise, admitting that she just hadn’t wanted to hear what I was saying, but now agreed with me. Okay, fair enough, and I was polite to her – but she didn’t offer to repay the money, and she will not be receiving another consultation from me in the future.

So, it is time to reassess and move forward in a different way. Tuning in to the energy fields of other human beings on a regular basis takes its own kind of toll, which is obviously to be expected. However, when the boundaries become blurred, and when more and more is demanded, and when you often can’t just do the work you do to the best of your ability, deliver it, and move on to the next, it becomes stressful and disheartening… something you seriously begin to question. And, it is this kind of stuff that ultimately leads genuinely decent and well-meaning readers to either start telling customers what they believe they want to hear (in order to avoid aggravation and backlash), or, to throw in the towel completely and quit. To be honest, this is just the way of the modern world, right now. As the questionable saying goes, the customer is always right, and it is they who are now dictating the direction in which the intuitive industry ends up heading… not those who work within it.

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An intuitive consultant, blogger and writer; a lover of motorbikes, Formula 1 motor racing, music, reading, walking, camping and ongoing self - improvement!

3 thoughts on “Intuitives and psychics: how much should be expected of them… and where do the boundaries lie?

  1. Doing work for others can sure be a challenge at times; I can certainly sympathise with a lot of this. A compromise with how you want to operate and how other expect/want you to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You use your gift to genuinely help people. You are never going to be able to please everyone. I’ve only received readings that were sugarcoating and I would much rather receive the truth even if it’s something I don’t want to hear. I love that you offer not only insight and details about what is coming, but also subjective advice on how to navigate it. Thank you. 😊

    Like

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