I originally wrote this blog in February 2019, but today I realised that I had failed to include something important: why I felt compelled to write it! So, to set the record straight, here is a short explanation:
I am fully aware that I am in business to make money… but I also need to feel satisfied that what I am involved in has a definite sense of purpose, is honourable, and lives up to my own values. I am also aware that people have the absolute right to choose how they spend their money and what they do with their time. However, I believe that I have a duty to be mindful of the potentially destructive aspects of my line of work, and at least try to assist customers/potential customers to also be mindful of them, for their own benefit. And, from a professional point of view, there is no pride to be gained from being just another in a long line of consultants/readers who are covering the same subject or situation. I will finish this ‘short’ explanation by adding that since I published this blog, business has dropped a little… which was obviously inevitable, given the subject matter!
Now… the blog!
You have probably become a psychic junkie if you regularly go from one psychic reader, intuitive consultant, fortune teller, or astrologer to another… often asking the same questions about the same person or situation.
I recently received this (edited) email from a customer in her early twenties, and I am sure you will easily recognise which bit alarmed me:
“Just want to say, from my past 2 consultations with you, things have come to pass, and you were the most accurate out of probably over 50+ readers I’ve been to, including ****, who got things so wrong for me. So thanks for your past help, guidance, and honesty”.
Increasingly, I have been attempting to encourage those I suspect are in danger of becoming psychic junkies to recognise what they are doing and nip it in the bud as quickly as possible – often without much luck. I am aware that I have been earning a living as an intuitive consultant for more than 25 years, but I have always strongly advocated that the service is not an emotional pain killer, or a substitute for tea and sympathy, or a guaranteed validation of destructive or unhealthy behaviour – and it certainly isn’t about hearing the story we ideally want to hear, no matter how unrealistic that may be.
So, what should the purpose of an intuitive consultation (or psychic reading) be? Well, as far as I am concerned, it is this: to gain insight and information – end of. It is akin to receiving a jigsaw piece that we slot into the bigger puzzle of our life, enabling us to see more of the picture than we could before. When we become addicted to ‘psychic’ guidance, we are no longer seeking actual, genuine insight… and we are painfully disempowering ourselves.
So, why do people become psychic junkies?
At the end of a recent telephone consultation (no longer available), I tentatively asked the customer if she had regularly been consulting with other readers on the same subject that she had wanted me to cover… and she sheepishly admitted that she had (which didn’t surprise me at all, as certain revealing ‘signs’ were present). I asked what it was that was motivating her, and she explained that she was hoping to hear something that she ‘believed’. I suggested that some readers told her what she wanted to hear, and asked her if that made her feel happy… and she agreed that yes, it did. However, it was clear that this ‘happiness’ didn’t last very long, causing her to seek out the next high; the problem was, every now and then someone would tell her what she didn’t want to hear, and in order to block out the disappointment and pain, she would purchase yet another reading… and so on and so on.
How does it feel to be a psychic junkie?
The truth is, psychic junkies are often experiencing huge emotional pain, and are stuck in a powerless kind of limbo, feeling absolutely unable to move forwards. Or, they are lost and wandering in life, uncertain as to what the next step should be… or even what it is they actually want, apart from vague murmurings of a desire for happiness and contentment. They want to feel better, sooner rather than later, and right now if possible; they want answers that often cannot be given; they are afraid of the future (the unknown), and believe that it is the past that holds the true secret to their happiness; they are experiencing the raw pain of rejection, with unanswered questions and unresolved issues holding them prisoner; they are repeatedly telling themselves stories that are edited and distorted, leaving them confused and frustrated… and unable to see or feel anything other than what is running through their mind and heart, on a continuous loop. Some, or all of this, sometimes leads the psychic junkie to spend excessive amounts of time on internet forums, where they may find themselves joining forces with others who have become junkies, or expose themselves to the outpourings of other junkies – all the while becoming more deeply entrenched, and more unsettled.
How does a psychic junkie begin to break the cycle?
It has to start with honesty… there can be no healing without it. A customer told me that her boyfriend had ended their relationship completely out of the blue, and with absolutely no warning; they had been completely in love, and were planning on getting married. As the consultation unfolded, I intuitively felt this was not entirely true, and asked her about previous events that I believed were pertinent… and she admitted that yes, there had been certain happenings which had impacted negatively upon their relationship, but. Experience has taught me that wherever there is a ‘but’, there is also usually a nice big broom, sweeping the stuff we don’t want to think about out of the way and under the carpet! I don’t believe that we humans deliberately lie to ourselves (and therefore others): I believe that a) we tend to ‘forget’ the bad stuff in order to preserve the good stuff; b) we do it to protect ourselves from the devastation of disappointment and rejection; c) we struggle to face our own misjudgement, and our willingness to hang on to something that, deep down inside, we know isn’t that great.
Courage is most definitely required – firstly to face the fact that we have become a psychic junkie; secondly to look our emotional pain and fear squarely in the eyes. Until we do both of those things, we cannot possibly begin to heal and grow. It hurts like hell to have been abandoned and rejected; it is crushing to feel that we have failed at something that is so important to us; it is devastating to recognise that the plans we made and put all of our hopes and dreams into have been reduced to dust; it drives us crazy to see that the person we believed we knew is not that person, after all. Hanging onto it and changing the facts so that they match the story we are telling ourselves won’t make any of it true or different. A thousand consultations won’t change a reality that feels just too painful to face… even if a reader tells us exactly what they believe we want to hear.
If you are being honest with yourself, and courageous enough to face the reality of your situation, but still can’t quite relinquish your yearnings for psychic-comfort-food, then take small steps… whilst using your common sense! Recognise when you are being buttered up, flattered, and misled. It isn’t hard to spot this kind of ‘service’, especially when you have already had a number of readings! Pick out a select few who have a proven track record, or who have definitely been accurate for you in the past, and avoid the others like the plague. And be honest with those readers or consultants; double check that you are not knowingly, or even unknowingly, presenting an inaccurate or edited scenario for their intuitive assessment and appraisal. This work is not about testing, or manipulation (at least it shouldn’t be!); as I said earlier, it is about honest, genuine insight, and food for thought… about information that can help us to productively shape and form the next phase of our life.
An effective reading or consultation will not make complete sense immediately; time will need to be allowed to pass, with periodic consideration given to the contents. Going from one to another within a short space of time shows that we are looking for instant gratification, for validation, for the answer that we want to hear – and not sincere, considered intuitive insight. And remember that even the most experienced, effective readers cannot possibly cross every t or dot every i; it will always be a bit of inexact science, but one that can be incredibly helpful to us, if we know how to approach and use it!
Not all things are equal in the world of intuition; not all services are the same, and not every reader or consultant operates in the same way. What I call psychic-fast-food is now readily available, 24 hours a day, on every internet ‘street corner’. There are readers who promise same day delivery for every customer: have you ever asked yourself how they can do that effectively, unless they have very little business? So, are you looking for fortune telling, or a more in depth service? Do you want to play games with a reader, more interested in what they can pick up about you than the overall value, or do you prefer to work with them? Do you go for the softly-softly, soothing approach, or the ‘here’s the bottom line, and these are your options’ style?
Do your research, and find the reader or consultant that is compatible with your needs – and vice versa. I cannot speak for other intuitive consultants, but, after 25 years in this line of work, I no longer feel that I have to work with those customers who are not seeking what my business has to offer, or who abuse the service. It is an exchange: an honest, sincere consultation demands a decent amount of mental and emotional energy from the person who is producing it, in return for a payment of money. If you do your groundwork, you will save time and money, not to mention emotional energy… because there will be no need to become a psychic junkie; you will be going for quality, rather than quantity!