There are many reasons to feel angry at this point in human history. Not only angry, but afraid, too. And defeated. 

There are a million (at least that’s how it feels) different causes. Which are vociferously being shoved in our faces, every second of every day. For every argument, a counterargument arises. Followed by a counterargument against that argument.  Human beings have allowed themselves to become divided by politics, with common sense and decency appearing to be a thing of the past. Gleefully celebrating another’s downfall, or even their murder, is considered acceptable and excusable, now – because they were on the ‘wrong’ side, or had an opposing view. 

However, politics isn’t the problem.

It is us, manipulating and weaponising it, to justify our beliefs and actions, that is the problem. There have been, and still are, a lot of questionable causes to consider – with a smattering of righteous ones. Of course, whether a cause is questionable or righteous is entirely subjective. But still, the fact remains: Some causes are for the greater good, some aren’t. You’ll decide for yourself which is which, based on your current beliefs.

The big question here is: How do we survive in a world awash with violently opposing beliefs, and remain mentally and emotionally stable?

How do we face the perpetual onslaught of angry faces and voices, without sinking into the abyss? 

How do we reconcile our own rage? 

How do we pacify our outrage, indignation, and disgust at the antics of some of our fellow human beings? 

How do we function when feelings of anger and resentment cause us to feel drained and physically ill (because we aren’t as tough and uncompromising as some other human souls)?

When feelings of righteous anger are met head-on by opposing feelings of nasty anger? 

Regardless of the answers, it’s all still purely subjective, isn’t it? Which is why we’re in such a mess. We all believe we’re right… which means that no one is wrong. The fact is, everyone can have a platform. And it is the loudest amongst us who are going to make sure to be heard – whether crazy or sane.

So, how do we survive this insanity… and even thrive?

This is a question I have battled with, time after time. Feeling sick to my stomach because I opened myself to all that is going on in this world, allowing it to steal every ounce of hope and joy from within me. Lying awake at night, too angry and afraid to switch off and sleep. Immediately going to social media for updates upon awakening. Who’s done what to whom since I last checked in? What new outrage has been unleashed? Who else has been cancelled – who else’s life and career have been destroyed? What new thing or group of people do we have to worry about, on top of everything else? 

I can, of course, only talk to you about my own experiences and meanderings. But it might be helpful to understand a little about my own journey, and why I have reached the conclusions I have. 

I’m a self-employed, 68-year old, twice-divorced mother of three. I have lived through a few things, but not, I’m happy to say, a world war (being born 12 years after World War 2 ended). I remember watching President John F Kennedy’s funeral, on a tiny black and white television, as a very young child. I remember the outpouring of grief over Robert Kennedy’s assassination (I was 10.5 years old at that time). 

As a teenager, I grieved and railed, as many young people do, at injustice. Racial prejudice and vivisection were my pet causes. I read a book, Black Like Me, by John Howard Griffin (first published in 1961), which made a huge impression on me. I remember witnessing a man racially abusing a young black waitress in a cafe, and tearing him a new one. I apologised to the girl for his actions – but she appeared mortified by the attention. Maybe she’d have been happier if I’d minded my own business and said nothing at all. Maybe she could handle it, having experienced that kind of abuse before. The sense of shame and pain were probably my own. Recalling this has caused me to imagine how sickening it must have felt to be on the receiving end of such monstrousness. It wasn’t illegal then, just frowned upon. I imagine one of my children being subjected to such humiliation – and I know that I’d have torn that f****r limb from limb. 

The point is, young people have always been impressionable, vulnerable, and susceptible. They bravely protested throughout the 1960s, for example, against war and in favour of civil rights. Young people have always had a conscience, and they’ve played an important role in genuine social change. However, our young are now being openly manipulated by adults who definitely have agendas. Emotional stances abound, with arguments that don’t always stand up to scrutiny. I can see where there has been definite growth and improvement in the world since I was in my teens and twenties, and how, in many ways, society is so much better. Nevertheless, the world has become a lot nastier and far less transparent… but if you are fairly new to it, you might not recognise that. 

It’s obvious from what I am saying that the past wasn’t perfect.

Apart from anything else, there was unrest, strikes, and riots; there was joblessness and poverty. From that point of view, not much has changed, and the 1960s, 70s and 80s weren’t without significant problems. Some people had a lot of everything, most had too little. But, there was a lot less whining and victim mentality then. Genuinely. People were a lot more resilient and less afraid to speak up and risk being ‘cancelled’. In fact, being cancelled wasn’t a thing then. Citizens absolutely refused to be patronised or silenced. So, whilst it wasn’t ideal by any stretch of the imagination, it was easier to navigate. And no one needed counselling because someone offended them. Being offended was a way of life then, like it or lump it. And that’s how we made it this far. 

But these times feel far worse – to me, at least.

Corruption isn’t even hidden… or, it is hiding in very plain sight. Blame, shame, and guilt are the order of the day. There’s always a perpetrator, and always a victim. Life has become a lethal hall of mirrors, with literally no exit. There are too many fires to even hope to extinguish, with new ones being lit every day. This is reality. This is how it is. This is the foundation on which the future is currently being built. And there is nothing I can do to change any of that. If I die right now, it will still be going on. If I live for another 25 years, I won’t get to change the world – but I can sure as hell change my world. And, in doing so, I might possibly contribute, energetically speaking, to positive collective change. Sounds far-fetched, even to me… but hope springs eternal. 

However, we need to be aware of a highly important fact: There are two dimensions of existence in this world:

One is the online world.

The other is the non-online world. In other words, ‘real’ life.  

And it is completely possible to confuse the two – especially for those of the internet generation. In fact, their online lives are often more real to them than their offline lives. Which is very, very bad for their spiritual, mental, and emotional health. It’s also bad for those of us who forget that the antics we are witnessing on the internet, often accompanied by outpourings of poisonous, verbal vomit, isn’t representative of the world we live in. It’s a certain section of society, and nothing more.

In my everyday life, I don’t see these people. Rather, I see people who have their personal philosophical and political views and are happy to share them, even if it leads to a bit of heated debate. And that’s perfectly acceptable. I don’t see the crazies, or those whose very existence depends upon being ‘different’. I don’t cross paths with political smugs (well, maybe a few) or committed, uncompromising ideologists. If they do exist in my world, they’re keeping it under wraps. Most folk just want to wake up every day in a country that is thriving and safe to live in. And some are willing to fight for that – not just for themselves but for the rest of us, too. Left or right leaning, it doesn’t matter. They’re ‘normal’, everyday people who just want to be able to get on with their lives and make some positive headway. 

Of course, there are many who choose not to become involved at all.

Who put their heads down and pretend none of it is happening – and who can blame them? Well, me, for one. Or, should I say, I used to. But not anymore.      

You see, I’ve had to face my fear of being a head-in-the-sand burier. After years spent navigating a confusing warren of rabbit holes, I finally needed to resurface to suck in lungsful of fresh, clean air. And I received criticism for admitting the need to disengage. Smug statements like, “That’s such a defeatist attitude”, and “So you’re one of those who buries her head in the sand, are you?” made me feel like putting a fist through a face. Which I didn’t, of course. Except in my fantasy. They were poking a very raw spot, without even realising it. And I know that millions of others also have the same kind of raw spot – a fear of not caring enough. A feeling of guilt for the suffering of others. A burning sense of duty to save the world. A disgust for the self-serving who couldn’t give a damn about the rest of the world. I understand it, and I applaud it – but I also know that it doesn’t actually help make the world a better place. Not in and of itself. It might help us to feel purposeful, or even just better about ourselves, because we care. However, it also leads to depression, hopelessness, and a sense of isolation. Followed by indignation, and even – dare I say it? – a sense of superiority over those who don’t care – or, who don’t care about what we care about. 

So, what advice could I offer to those who recognise some or all of the above?

Those who are suffering because they can’t prevent others from suffering? Because they can’t save the world? It’s pretty simple, I’m afraid. Save yourself first. Otherwise, you’re no use to anyone. And then pick your cause. There are thousands of them. All in need of a champion. 

However, please don’t behave like a dick whilst you’re doing it.

Or swing your metaphorical dick around. Never mind if there’s enough room to swing a cat around… it’s the dicks we need to be ducking from, out there. To use another feline analogy: There is more than one way to skin a cat (other than beating people over the head with it). 

First, though, it’s imperative to recognise when we’re experiencing burnout: 

When we’ve consumed so much ‘news’ (be it left or right) that it is negatively impacting our mental health and even our sleep.

When we’re consistently engaging with the wrongs of the world, as soon as we open our eyes.

When most of our conversation is centred around what is wrong with the world, and who is wrong.

When we are hungry for the next outrage, constantly scrolling for posts and videos from those who share our views. Or, those who don’t, so we can judge and even hate them. 

When we are regularly feeling depressed, hopeless, and powerless. When even a glimmer of joy is immediately squashed. After all, how dare we feel happy when the world is in such a dark place? 

When we feel we can’t face life in this world anymore. Not intending to do away with ourselves – just wishing we didn’t have to keep waking up to the same reality (or, our perceived reality). 

Any of this ring any bells for you?

If so, learn from my experience and heed my warning. If you’re going to enter the fray, don’t lose yourself to the darkness. And don’t become the darkness. And always, always question. Don’t accept anything at face value or hearsay – especially if the cause is particularly emotionally charged and disruptive. Know your facts – not just the emotional arguments. Don’t be dazzled by the ideologists and extremists. Do your due diligence. And don’t be afraid to expand your understanding, or even change your mind. Belonging is important to human souls because we are pack animals. Just do your best to belong to the right pack for you.

And remember, saving the world or the human race isn’t possible. Both are in a constant state of flux and evolution, and that will still be true when you and I are no longer here. However, if you manage to make a difference to just one soul’s life, the ripple could spread across the entire planet – without you ever being aware of just how much you actually achieved. Maybe, even, saving one tiny chunk of the world, in the process. First, though, you might need to save yourself.