Our beloved cat, Tarrant, had a small sore on her lip, and we assumed that she had been stung by a wasp. Although a family pet, she really belonged to my youngest daughter, who utterly adored her. Tarrant was now 18, and they had grown up together, always the best of friends. Although elderly in years, the proud and matriarchal animal was still very active, and so we weren’t too concerned as we headed off for an appointment with the vet. We had no idea what was in store.
The vet was brutal in his delivery, and my daughter almost fell to the floor with shock and grief. Tarrant had cancer of the mouth, he announced, and the best thing to do was to put her to sleep immediately. Everything changed at that very moment, and the journey home was agonising. Of course we took Tarrant with us – she wasn’t in obvious pain or discomfort, and was still eating and drinking. We needed time for it all to sink in, and to make our goodbyes. Plus, if she was going to die, it would be at home, not there.
I was incredibly shocked and sad, but my daughter was devastated (she still is, two years down the line). We struggled to make sense of it, and not react angrily to others’ well-meaning comments such as, “oh well, she’s had a good inning”. Just because someone or something is mature in years, it doesn’t mean that we don’t want to hold onto them forever, especially if they still appear to be generally well. We took her to another vet for a second opinion, and, although the lady was incredibly kind, she explained that removal of the mass would lead to Tarrant losing a part of her jaw, and would be incredibly stressful and painful for her. And, even then, there was no guarantee. It was another body blow. I was dreading the day that she would leave us, and I couldn’t bear to helplessly face my daughter’s overwhelming grief. Still, I was resistant to the idea that she was getting ready to go, and every single night I lay in bed and sent out healing energy to her. And, she did appear to be thriving, which gave me hope. Perhaps the healing was working, and maybe the tumour at the back of her mouth was shrinking.
The day after the first visit to the vet, my daughter had a dream in which she was told that Tarrant had six weeks left. I tried to reassure her, saying that it was just her fears, and not to focus on it. Around five and a half weeks later, Tarrant started to become more obviously ill. She was still eating, but it was becoming a struggle, and her mouth began to bleed. We had to face the awful truth: the time had finally come to let her go. The surgery was called, and a date and time were arranged for the vet to attend the house. Tarrant left us six weeks after my daughter’s dream.
Was it her intuition that spoke to her that night, or an energetic being, such as a guide? Some people believe that all of their intuitive insights are delivered by an outside source, rather than them coming from within themselves. It is a question that I cannot truthfully answer, and I don’t believe that any of us can. We can offer our opinions or our conclusions… but we can’t say for sure.
My son was once trying to remember a password for one of his computer games, but nothing that worked came to mind. And then, one night, he had a dream in which someone gave him the password; as soon as he woke up, he rushed to switch his computer on, eager to check it out… and it worked! Had his intuitive self rooted through his subconscious filing system, until it found what it was looking for? Or had a helpful soul (who maybe enjoyed computer games!) whispered it in his ear? Again, I have no definitive answer.
One night, there was a storm raging outside, and I found myself thinking about a ferry that had recently- and tragically – sunk, on a dark and stormy sea. I grieved for the poor passengers, and began to imagine what it would have been like to be in a cabin with my three children, as that boat went down. What would I say to them? What could I do? It honestly didn’t bear thinking about. And then, my eldest daughter who was around four years old at the time, woke up crying in a panicked way. I dashed to her bedroom to comfort her, asking what had upset her so much? “I dreamed that the water was coming up above my head” she wailed. A shiver ran through me! We were talking about it recently and I said that she had tapped into my thoughts; she said that maybe I had tapped into hers!
So, intuitive dreams can be incredibly helpful, but predictive dreams can be unsettling. By predictive, I mean those dreams that foretell of something that actually comes to pass… and it is often unpleasant or challenging. I have had a few of these, and I imagine that you have, too. However, we shouldn’t be surprised; as I am always saying, intuition is a tool in our survival kit (to which I am going to add that prediction is a tool of intuition). Intuition’s intention is to keep us safe, or prewarn us, rather than worry or hurt us. As previously mentioned, the problem with intuitive insight is that it doesn’t always provide enough information for us to act upon – and even when it does, we often ignore it! Also, generally speaking, prediction can only be understood or accepted in hindsight… which often isn’t of much use to us!
It is important to remember that most dreams are nothing more than the outpourings of our unconscious mind, tangled up with snippets from our lives. I am usually aware of my dreams, and they are generally pretty weird and wonderful experiences… not to mention exhausting! I have attended the wedding of my youngest daughter to Formula 1 motor racing world champion, Lewis Hamilton, more than once (I am not sure what that says about me!). In other dreams he has befriended me before dropping me like a hot brick. In one, he was a bus driver, leaving his seat to comfort me because I was upset (and I bet he’s never dreamed about me, once!). These are clearly not predictive or intuitive dreams; Lewis represents something, and it is my job to work out what that is. Obviously, I admire and respect him, being a keen F1 fan, and I like him as a human being. But having him like me seems to be important to me in my dreams, and so maybe it is all about an underlying desire to be approved of and accepted by those I hold in esteem and deem to be successful. I have also had a multitude of dreams about not being able to get through to someone on my phone, no matter how hard I try, and becoming more and more anxious. The worst ‘serial’ dream is one that features me waking up on Christmas morning, only to realise that I had forgotten it was Christmas and I haven’t bought a single present for the children or anything for dinner. My analysis is that it’s all about the fear of not being good enough, of not being acknowledged, and of letting others down. All I can say is, for God’s sake, unconscious mind, shut up – why do you have to be so mean!
Throughout the years, a number of people have described to me their dreams about an ex-partner or love interest. The usual tendency is to interpret them as meaning that the person in question is reaching out to them, or in need of them. Often, there has been no contact for quite some time, and the dreamer has no knowledge of their whereabouts or their state of mind. Although I wouldn’t automatically dismiss their interpretation out of hand, my first port of call would be to consider what the dream actually represents, rather than taking it literally (which is generally what the customer would prefer me to do). I have dreamed, too many times, that I am back with my ex-husband, and that the children are small again. There are always difficulties to face, some of which are all too familiar, others that are new. However, I know for sure that he wouldn’t want to live with me again as much as I wouldn’t want to live with him! The dreams are about my own emotions, and stuff that is buried deep within my unconscious mind. We are all emotional and psychological puzzles… human versions of the fairground hall of mirrors! Of course, I can ‘tune in’ to the ex or love interest and use my intuitive skills to decipher whether or not they are emotionally connecting with the dreamer and hoping for contact. In virtually every case, my conclusion is that no, they aren’t. Nevertheless, the only way that the enquirer would know for sure would be to find them and ask them! People often request intuitive insight or guidance, and then ignore or dismiss it because it doesn’t run in line with what they believe, or want to hear. It is the nature of the beast; all I can do is to advise my customers to carry on as usual, whilst keeping what I have said at the back of their mind; it’s interesting just how often these things suddenly come to make sense.
Anyway, to finish this blog post, I am including an excerpt from my book, How The ‘Dead’ Connect With Us – And Vice Versa, because it talks about how our deceased loved ones sometimes reach out to us through our dreams:
Dreams are another way in which people feel that they have been contacted by a deceased loved one. It is difficult to know for sure, as dreams are often such complex and confusing experiences; however, we have all had those dreams that are so real they stay with us for days… the quality is somehow different to the usual weird meanderings and outpourings of our subconscious mind! The essence of the loved one remains with us, as if we have been in their actual, physical presence – and I believe that, when it feels this way to us, we have connected with them. I remember dreaming about my niece, and she was being rather impatient with me. I said something like, “oh my God, you are alive, you are still here!”, and she retorted, “of course I’m still here… what are you going on about ?” When I awoke, I cried. It was as if I had been in her presence, but, in the cold light of day, she was still ‘dead’. It seems cruel, I know, like a mean joke. I got it, though; I understood that she was trying, in her usual cheeky way, to say, “I might be gone… but I’m not GONE!” Our loved ones would never want to frighten or upset us, but even the dead feel the need to deliver a bit of straight-talking every now and then!
Sometimes we might struggle to remember the exact details of the dream – which can be really disappointing – but at least the sense of that person stays with us (if only for a short while). The dream may be short, or we might receive only a brief, fleeting image of the face of one who has passed, or hear a soft whisper in a voice that we recognise: it doesn’t make any difference, as far as I am concerned; if it feels real to us, then it is real. If you feel downhearted and discouraged because you believe that you have never experienced any of the above, don’t despair. I bet for sure that you will have had at least one day when the sadness of loss lifted, replaced by an inexplicable sense of connection, as if your loved one was close. When this happens, it could be that you did meet up in a dream, but it faded from your conscious mind as soon as you awakened (whilst being fully retained by your unconscious mind), or it could be that on that particular day, at that particular time, you were more naturally receptive to the energetic love being sent your way by a dearly missed, beloved soul. It isn’t something that you can control, and it isn’t something that is done the ‘right’ way or the ‘wrong’ way. We do need to remember just how technically impossible all of this should be! We are, after all, communicating vibrationally, mind to mind and heart to heart – and the communication has to penetrate an ever-shifting, ever-changing wall of interference. When you think about it, even the briefest of connections is a miracle… it’s just that we naturally long and yearn for more.