I don’t enjoy it when people want to use the services of a medium to continue family feuds, or to have their own behaviour validated… and yes, that does happen!

I remember the woman who wanted to know exactly what her deceased mother now felt about her sister, because surely she could see her in her true colours, from the ‘spirit world’? I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the mother – even death wasn’t enough to escape the rivalry between her warring daughters!

Where’s the money??

And people have wanted to know where certain possessions have disappeared off to, following a loved one’s death. Arguments over things like jewellery and money are not uncommon, with demands being made of the deceased to reveal who stole the thing that another family member believes should be theirs.

Then there is the transference of personal feelings and bitterness onto ‘spirit’. I overheard a conversation once (well, when I say overheard, earwigging is probably a more accurate description!) in which a woman informed her friend that she had been told by spirit that an uncle who had recently died would have to come back and make amends for all of his wrong-doings. It was expressed more dramatically than that, but that was the general gist of it. She was bristling with indignation and righteousness, and I am sure that the said uncle was a real piece of work… but was she really confided in by some loose-lipped entity, or was she projecting her own wishes for him onto an invisible force, so that she didn’t have to own her own anger? 

I know you’re dead, but…

I don’t think that deceased people care about who-did-what-to-whom, and even if they did, what are they supposed to do about it? I understand that when someone dies, the hurt they may have caused others isn’t just forgotten by the grieving; the mother whose daughter wanted her to see her sibling in a negative way probably played her part in the upset, maybe consistently favouring one child over the other. The yearning to hear her mother admit that she had been wrong wasn’t an adult response – it was the reaction of a hurt, angry inner-child. I am really wary about becoming drawn in to such situations, and let’s face it, I could say anything that I believe the customer wants to hear: “your mother can now see that your sister is a manipulative, dishonest soul, and she is so sorry that she couldn’t see it when she was alive. She has disowned her and wants you to know that you were always the good one.” I could say that, but even if I did hear and sense it, I wouldn’t feel good at all about delivering it… it wouldn’t be coming from a healthy, loving place. 

I don’t really think too much about my own deceased relatives, about where they are and what they are doing; we lived very separate, disconnected lives, and I don’t feel any need to be in contact. I don’t harbour any feelings of ill-will, more a sense of detachment. However, I am fascinated by the journey that is death-life-death and so on, and I will continue to explore all aspects of it until I myself leave this world, I imagine. Arguing with the living is draining enough, never mind entering into conflict with the ‘dead’! There are plenty of inspirational souls I will be keen to connect with… if, that is, they can spare me the time from their busy, non-physical-world schedules!