Get unstuck! 7 ‘I can’t’ beliefs – and 7 responses!

How do we get unstuck?

You know how it is, when we have dreams, ideas, hopes, and wishes… but a hundred reasons why we can’t make them real? Well, here are just 7 of them…

1) I can’t just go off and do what I want to…I have to live in the REAL world!

You don’t have to just ‘go off’ anywhere. The real world will be wherever you are, whether you do the things you want to or not… because it is always your current version of the real world, not a universally accepted and agreed upon, scientifically certified, signed-sealed-and-delivered version… and it always will be. You might, and probably will, overtime, change your perception of what constitutes your real world… which means your reality will also change!

2) I don’t have enough confidence to do the things I want to!

Of course you don’t. You can only feel confident when doing the things you already know how to do, because you have already done them a zillion times. That’s the way it is, for all of us. If you wait to become confident before you start something new, you won’t be able to start it: the first step, followed by repeated action, always comes first – and confidence always comes second! 

3) I have to have security, so I can’t take any chances!

You are taking a chance every second of every day, and if you are reading this, you have obviously survived, and are clearly still in the game. People die in their beds, in their cars, on the street, at work, in the pub, on the beach, at the store….whilst walking, running, swimming, dancing…breathing, even. Security doesn’t exist in the outside world. It is an inside job for every last one of us. Starting a new job? Well, they ARE paying you, so no loss of security there. Starting a little business? Well, keep doing what you do to earn a living, until you no longer need to, for as long as it takes. Want to learn some new skills? Educate yourself, for free, through books and the internet, until you are able to pay for training that leads to a qualification…if necessary. Many, many successful people have no formal qualifications, and are entirely self – taught.

4) I don’t have time to do anything other than what I am already doing!

Well, that won’t be true forever, even if it IS true now (which, in most cases, it won’t be, entirely). Children grow up. Circumstances change. Start with 5 minutes a day now….in another year/decade that 5 minutes will become an hour, a day, a week…a lifetime. And you could always give your daily routine/habits the once-over, to double-check that you aren’t investing unnecessary time and energy in stuff that isn’t actually doing anything worthwhile for your life…   

5) I don’t know enough about what I want to do, to be able to do it!

Who does? Apart, obviously, from people like brain surgeons. If we all waited to know everything there is to know, about the thing we want to do or become, we’d never get started at all… ever. We wouldn’t have children, for a start off, or buy a house, never mind create a business, or write a book, or bake and ice a wedding cake, or make a dress, or renovate our home, or make – over the garden… you get the picture? 

6) I want to write/paint/cook/sew/heal etc, but I could never make a living doing it!

So, don’t make a living doing it. Just do it. There is this weird belief (tied up with the security thing) that unless something makes money, we can’t do it, or it isn’t worth doing. But having said that, loads of successful businesses started as hobbies… you can’t say for sure where something is likely to take you until you start creating. If you genuinely want to do something, it is better to dedicate one good hour a week to it, every week, than to dump it on the shelf labelled “What’s the point?”, gathering dust for eternity. And you’d be leaps and bounds ahead of those who ‘like the idea’ of something, without having one ounce of will to follow it up! 

7) The thing is, I don’t like the idea of failing!

Neither do I, but I have done so, many times, and I am still here and in the swim. You aren’t made out of cut glass….you won’t shatter into a billion pieces because you mess up, or because some moron ‘hates’ you on the internet, or some people don’t get what you are trying to do, or your loved ones think you are crazy, or wasting your time. You fail every day, to be honest. Fail to make a decent cup of tea, to arrive on time, to pay a bill, to be honest with someone about something, to be reasonable, to be resourceful with your time….and yet, here you still are! And I have a little nugget of wisdom for you, courtesy of Henry Ford: ‘Failure is the only opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely’.

And don’t forget, if you need some honest to goodness insight and guidance, you know where I am…


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